Joined in 2023 
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Easy as that! It may not be the normal mixing tool, but it sure adds up to the party vibe for those interested in that sort of thing. She comes over, I go to the fridge and find we only have SPICY KIELBASA! I show her and we decide to still try but cover them in condoms. We sit on my futon, slide our pants/undies down, throw a blanket over our laps... I remember thinking, "Am I sure I want to do this?", but I hear her, like, moaning so I....plunge ahead. IT HURTS! And it's like burning and I feel weird. At that moment my mother BURSTS in (drunk) and starts screaming at us! She insists we're doing drugs and questions the blanket over us. I finally convince her to leave and remove the sausage. Hillary hands me hers and I go to throw them in the wastebasket. That's the last thing I remember.
Pro tip: Experiment to find your most mind-blowing positions. Try variations on all the classics, and throw some standing sex positions into the mix. Larger-than-average length and girth
Rude Novelty Gifts
All mammalian embryos start life as female in presentation, before the chromosome process is activated, with an external, undifferentiated clitoris-like structure. Eventually, embryos with XX chromosomes will develop a clitoris, labia, and vagina, while those with XY chromosomes will grow a penis and testes. 3. THE PENIS IS COMPOSED OF THREE TUBES. The penis has two main biological roles, according to Michael Reitano, a physician-in-residence and an expert in sexual health and wellness for Roman Health. One is the elimination of waste in the form of urine; the second is the means for transferring semen, which carries sperm from the testes out of the body to somewhere else, such as the vagina for procreation. Another of its functions is, of course, sexual pleasure. 2. IT DEVELOPS FROM A CLITORIS-LIKE ORGAN. Pro tip: If you’re both open to anal, the cone is basically built for butt play (just like butt plugs) because the gradual increase in girth helps stretch the anus. Use a lot of lube and tease with just the tip before going deeper. Narrow base with larger head
To be clear, the “pencil” type isn’t actually pencil-thin, but it’s notably longer and narrower than average. This action is done to entertain many grown men, and even their partners. Since the penis hangs freely, many men enjoy moving their hips in an up and down movement and watching their penis “whip it.The extra girth at the tip stimulates the vaginal or rectal walls, creating friction that’ll feel good for both. TL;DR: I masturbated with a condom-covered hot dog and nearly died. And my whole family found out." 4. Beware of grandmothers
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand? A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaned, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!" The medical community calls it “fellatio,” but the rest of us have our own phrases for performing oral sex on a man. The below is a comprehensive list of slang alternatives to “blowjob.” Some of these phrases are politically incorrect and other are completely ridiculous. Regardless, they exist in the collective lexicon. Here they are!Pro tip: Lube always makes for a good time, whether you have foreskin or not. But if you’re cut, using it could minimize chafing for you during a long or particularly snuggly session. Uncircumcised
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